


Show Me My Way

by Roselinavis



Category: ARGONAVIS from BanG Dream! AAside (Video Game)
Genre: Comfort, Friendship/Love, Gen, Heart-to-Heart, Internal Conflict, Light Angst, M/M, Night Conversation, One Shot, call-back to events in the anime, just my own interpretation of things but still based on canon info, other Argonavis members briefly appear in flashback, slight YuuRen (I think), takes place in the game timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:13:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27682715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roselinavis/pseuds/Roselinavis
Summary: After Argonavis arrives at their sharehouse in Tokyo, Ren suddenly expresses his hesitation to participate in LRFes, but he refuses to tell the others about his reason. As he keeps thinking about it while watching the night sky alone at the balcony, Yuuto finds him and decides to ask him again about his reason to not participate in the festival.
Relationships: Goryo Yuto & Nanahoshi Ren, Goryo Yuto/Nanahoshi Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Show Me My Way

It was evening at Shimokitazawa. At the sharehouse's balcony, Ren was looking at the night sky alone. A gentle breeze touched his face. It was slightly cold on that evening.

The stars were shining brightly on the clear night sky. Even so, although his gaze was directed at those stars, Ren's mind wandered off somewhere else. The time when he and the rest of Argonavis members arrived at the sharehouse and talked about Live Royale Festival still replayed on his mind. He still recalled what he told them at that time, about what he felt about entering the festival.

***

_"I...I don't want to participate in this Fes. Do we really need to enter it?"_

_"Eh?!"_

_Everyone was shocked to hear Ren's hesitation to enter LRFes. Ren somewhat expected that sort of reaction from them. He was aware that it was very sudden coming from him. Especially since they had just arrived in Tokyo at the moment._

_"What's with that all of a sudden, Ren?" Yuuto asked him._

_"Right when we had just arrived here, too," Banri followed._

_"I...I know that this is all so sudden, I understand, but...I'm sorry…." Ren said while acting nervously._

_"Why did you only say it now? You didn't say anything back then before we began to move to Tokyo, so it seemed that you have no problem with it," Rio began to talk as well._

_"That's…." Ren was trying to answer that question. "It's that...after learning more about the Fes from the manager, somehow I'm starting to be unsure about it."_

_"So you've been thinking about it for a while after hearing what the manager said, huh," Wataru said._

_"Yeah…."_

_"Ren, what is it that makes you become unsure?" Yuuto asked. "Why do you suddenly refuse to enter the Fes?"_

_Ren looked at Yuuto. "Um...that's...I…."_

_"What is it?"_

_Ren averted his eyes from Yuuto. "I...I'm not sure if I could say it yet. I'm sorry."_

_"Eh? But why?"_

_Ren remained silent. He felt somewhat hesitant to explain his reason. For some reason, he could not say it yet. He was not sure if that would be reasonable enough. And the rest of the members did not pressure him any further, as Ren was already uneasy enough._

***

Ren sighed as he recalled the event. Deep down, he felt a bit guilty for expressing his hesitation to participate in LRFes to everyone. After being chosen as one of the five bands to participate, and also the fact that everyone seemed to be excited about it...except himself. Now he felt like he just bothered everyone with his sudden hesitation. But he could not help but feel that way himself. There was something that bugged him...something that made him hesitant to do it. Was it alright for him to properly explain his reason to them?

“Ren, so you’re here.”

Ren turned around to the source of the voice that called him. A tall man with brown hair was standing nearby.

“Yuuto....”

“I was looking for you, and it turns out that you’re here. Anyway, what are you doing here?”

“Nothing, I’m just looking at the night sky from here.” Ren looked back at the night sky.

Yuuto walked closer to Ren and stood beside him, on his right side. He also looked at the night sky.

“The night sky looks clear, huh. You can see the stars clearly from here.”

“Yeah.” That was all that Ren could say.

Yuuto turned his face to Ren. He noticed that Ren’s face looked somewhat gloomy. Then he remembered again, when Ren suddenly said that he did not want to enter LRFes. He himself still wondered why Ren refused to participate. Ren refused to explain his reason when he was asked at that time. Looking at his face, perhaps he was still thinking about the festival, and him hesitating to participate in it.

“Ren,” Yuuto began to talk. “You’re still thinking about LRFes, aren’t you?”

Ren turned his face to Yuuto, his eyes widened. Yuuto looked at him with a serious look on his face.

“U-Um...that’s....” Ren became nervous. "How do you know…."

“I can tell from your face, Ren. You’re still thinking about not wanting to enter the Fes, right?”

“Was it...really that obvious?”

Yuuto did not answer that question. Instead, he just decided to ask him. “I will ask you again, Ren. Why don’t you want to enter LRFes? And why don’t you want to tell us the reason?”

“That’s....” Ren paused a bit. Should he just tell him? “...I’m not sure what you guys will think if I explain the reason.”

“But in the end we have to know, right?” Yuuto replied. “Tell me, Ren. The reason why you don’t want to enter LRFes.”

Ren did not say anything for a while. He felt like he was getting cornered at the moment, and he could not escape. He felt like he had no choice. In the end, he had to tell Yuuto. And later on he also had to tell everyone else.

“It’s...because....” Ren struggled a bit to explain his reason.

“Because?”

Ren looked away, avoiding contact with Yuuto. “LRFes just seems a lot different than any other festival I’ve known. It’s like a completely different world. And it’s also a lot more challenging...we're aiming for the world.”

“Are you afraid?”

Ren looked at Yuuto upon hearing that question. That question felt familiar to him...and then he remembered. He remembered that Yuuto asked him the same question when they were about to perform at Destiny Rock Festival. At that time, Ren responded by saying that instead of being afraid, he was excited, and that he wanted to sing. To think that they got to perform at a huge stage like DesFes, it just made him want to sing even more, and get closer to the certain feeling that he felt on that day.

However, this time...it felt different. After learning more about LRFes, instead of feeling excited, what he felt was something different. A different feeling as if it was a heavy burden on his back. A certain feeling that made him unsure if he would really want to do so.

“...Maybe you could say that.” Ren answered.

Yuuto was silent for a while. Usually Ren would be excited to sing on a stage. He recalled that time when they were about to perform at DesFes, when he asked the same question. At that time, Ren answered enthusiastically that he wanted to sing. He could see his purple eyes sparkling, portraying that enthusiasm. But this time, he gave a different answer. It felt a bit strange to him. Ren’s expression at the moment, it reminded him a little bit of the time when he first recruited Ren into his band in the karaoke room again, when he refused to join at that time. It gave off a similar feeling.

“Well, I can see that. It is on a much bigger scale than any of the live shows we’ve had. Not even DesFes. Even I still find it hard to believe that we’re actually chosen to enter this Fes.”

"It's a bit more than that," Ren began to talk again.

"What do you mean?"

"It's...it's kind of complicated," Ren continued. "I'm not sure if this fits with what I really want...and I also don’t understand it.”

"Eh?" Yuuto was confused by Ren’s answer.

“How should I explain it….” Ren tried to figure out how to explain his reason. He turned his face from Yuuto, looking at the view in front of him. "Ever since I joined Argonavis, I began to find my true resolve, and the way I really feel about singing. But it's especially when I tried to write my own lyrics at that time, when I wrote _Starry Line_ , that I truly realized about my own feelings. And how I'm finally able to put it into words."

Yuuto began to recall the lyrics of _Starry Line_ , the song that Ren wrote himself at that time. It was a personal song that contained Ren's true feelings about singing.

Ren continued again. "All this time, I just want to sing. I just want to perform. Seeking for that 'something'. I never felt it when I was alone, but when I'm with others, I can faintly feel it. That time, when the three of us performed at Submariner...I realized that I was having fun. And I think that it's what I want, it's how I feel, and so I write it in my lyrics. 'Having fun, wanting to sing. Those will become the proof of my existence'."

_Having fun, wanting to sing. Those will become the proof of my existence._ Yuuto remembered those lines. That was how Ren felt about singing. That was what he wanted.

"I don’t really think about winning or losing," Ren began to talk again. "I don't think about wanting to go to the top. I just think about moving forward, taking challenges, improving myself...and keep seeking for that 'fun' feeling. At that time, I thought there was nothing to lose, so I wasn't worried about winning or losing. But then, about LRFes...all of a sudden, it's all about winning or losing. It becomes such a big deal. It’s either to win or to lose. If we win, we can aim for the world, but if we lose...we can never enter the Fes and aim for the world anymore. And I feel that now there's a real consequence, there's something to lose. And so, I'm...starting to have doubts."

Yuuto was still silent, listening to Ren's explanation.

Ren continued to talk again. "It's not just being afraid that we can't win, and then we're possibly going to lose something. But more than that, someone like me, who's thinking about having fun and simply wanting to sing, has to deal with the “winning or losing” situation, and I have to aim for winning….”

Yuuto remained silent.

“I don’t understand. I don’t understand the meaning of joining this Fes. What’s the purpose of this? Why do we have to do this? Why do we have to compete in this way? Why does winning or losing become such a big deal? I don’t understand it...and I’m not ready to deal with this kind of situation. I still want to stick to my own ideal...but I don’t know whether I will still be able to stay true to myself. I’m worried if I can’t stay true to myself through all of this. And...I don’t know what to do.”

“I see...so that’s your reason, huh,” Yuuto finally commented.

“Yeah,” Ren responded. “I wasn’t sure if I could explain it to everyone before because I thought that it would be strange. Is my reason a bit too weird?”

Yuuto was silent for a while. After that, he chuckled a bit.

“Eh, is there something wrong?” Ren was confused. “Is it...a bit too weird after all?”

“No, no….” Yuuto tried to talk again. “It’s just...I think that’s just so Ren to think that way. You really do love singing from the bottom of your heart. Well...that’s why I chose you as the vocalist after all.”

Ren did not say anything.

“I do kind of understand. We’re entering a situation where there’s a clear winner and loser, where there can only be one winner, and we’re faced with a consequence if we fail. It’s not an easy situation."

Ren stared at Yuuto for a moment, and then began to speak again. “Are you worried too, Yuuto?”

“Well, that….” Yuuto paused a bit. “I would be lying if I said no. Actually there’s a part of me that feels worried too. But still...I want to believe. Believe that we can get there. Believe that we can aim for the world. Believe in everyone...and believe in myself. I know I’ve been struggling to believe in myself all this time, but...I want to change that. I don’t want to try to leave anymore like on that day. I’m not going to leave anymore.”

“Yuuto….”

Ren recalled it, the time when Yuuto considered to leave Argonavis. Because he did not think that he was good enough for the band at that time. Ren remembered that he tried to talk to him, telling him that no one thought that he was terrible, and that he did not want anyone else but him. At that time, Yuuto was almost trying to escape himself. But now….

“Ren, you’re not trying to escape, are you?”

“Eh?” Ren was surprised to hear that question directed at him. That question...it felt familiar to him. It was similar to a question he gave to Yuuto at that time, when he tried to convince Yuuto to follow him for an acoustic street performance he had planned with everyone else to bring him back to the band.

_“You’re just trying to escape, aren’t you?”_

At that time, he was the one who asked that question. But now, he was the one who received that question.

“You asked me a similar question on that day, remember? When I was about to quit the band and then you brought me for our acoustic street performance,” Yuuto continued. “Now, it’s my turn to ask you that question.”

“Um...I….”

“I know that this is quite a heavy situation, and that you don’t understand the meaning of it.” Yuuto told him. “But...we have decided to take this path. We have come to this place, we have come this far. And so now we have to keep going. I know that it might not be the exact same case here, but still, I don’t want you to escape like how I almost did back then.”

Ren remained silent.

“You want to sing, right?” Yuuto asked him again. “Then just do that! Just do it like how you usually do. Sing as much as you want.”

Ren began to talk again. “I do want to...but—“

“It’s okay if you don’t understand,” Yuuto immediately cut him off. “I get that you just want to sing and have fun, so if it’s hard for you to understand, then it’s alright. Maybe you’ll be able to figure things out along the way. But for now, just keep on singing like usual.”

Ren was silent again.

“I myself don't have "winning" as the top priority," Yuuto continued. "Not that it's not important at all—I mean, of course it’s good if we can win too! But, I think I've said this already before, right? While who wins is also important, the most important is that we perform live with our songs to rise to the top. So I can understand your feelings, and I believe that there’s a way for you to be able to stay true to yourself, to stick to your ideal, while still aiming to win. At least, I want to believe that.”

“...Is that really true?” Ren asked him, still unsure. “Is there really a way…?”

“Well, we don’t know if we don’t try, right?”

That was the kind of response that Ren would expect from Yuuto. After all, he was someone who always tried to have an optimistic attitude, and even until now, it remained the same.

“But I’m still not sure...is it really alright like this?” Ren remained doubtful. “I realize there are still many things that I don’t understand after all. I don’t understand the meaning of LRFes, or even the whole “winning or losing” situation. I feel like I still don’t know anything. I don’t know what will happen in this competition, what will happen to me, and what will happen to us. I don’t understand any of this, so I don’t know what I should do in this kind of situation. I don’t know which way to go. And I’m afraid that I might lose my sight, that I might lose my way, or perhaps, even lose _myself_. Will I still be the same? Will everything still be the same? I’m...I’m afraid that I would regret this decision.”

“Then I won’t let it happen,” Yuuto responded with such certainty in his tone. “You’re not going to lose yourself, you’re not going to lose anything, and you’re not going to regret. Because….”

Yuuto put his hands on Ren’s shoulders. “You have everyone. And you have _me_.”

Ren stared at Yuuto, unable to say anything. Yuuto's blue eyes which were directed to him, they were firm...and yet they also had a certain sense of gentleness.

“Remember Ren, you’re not alone anymore. We’re all friends. And as friends, we’re going to stick together and help each other, right?”

Ren lowered his head a little bit. “I….”

“I’ll be there for you. If you feel like you’re lost and don’t know what to do or which way to go, then I’ll show you the way. So you don’t need to worry. As long as we’re all together, I’m sure everything will be alright.”

Ren looked up to Yuuto again. Those words Yuuto told him went straight to his heart, and then began to bring a sense of comfort inside him. Yuuto’s words touched him so deeply that he began to feel a lump in his throat.

“Yeah...you’re right. I’m not alone anymore. I have everyone, and I have you,” Ren said while trying to smile, his voice was slightly shaking. He put his hand on Yuuto’s chest, his head lowered. “I don’t want to have any regrets at all...so Yuuto, please guide me. Show me what to do. Show me the way to go.”

“Yeah, I will.”

Yuuto pulled Ren closer and gently hugged him. Ren leaned his head on Yuuto’s chest, and then he closed his eyes.

Under the starry night sky, the two of them stayed that way for a while. Ren thought that it felt warm...and it made him feel calm and comfortable. He began to feel the worry and doubts inside him slowly diminished, as he kept replaying Yuuto’s words in his mind.

The future was still uncertain, and they would never know what would happen along the way. Ren did not know what would possibly happen to him or everyone else as they chose to move forward with this festival. However, if he had everyone by his side, then he wanted to believe that he would not have any regrets. Yuuto himself had promised that he would be there for him, and show him the way. Yes...he became more and more certain about it.

He was sure that he would not regret it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, thanks for reading my first fic in here!
> 
> The fact that Ren initially doesn't want to enter LRFes (as shown from the game's tutorial story preview) has always interested me, and so I thought of writing a fic focusing on that. I tried to think about how Ren could possibly feel about LRFes based on his overall characterization and his feelings towards singing (which is best shown in the song Starry Line), and this is the interpretation that I came up with. I hope that I can depict Ren's internal conflict well in this fic. This is only my own interpretation of the possible scenario based on canon info, and I hope that you enjoy it!
> 
> (Also there's reference to AAside (the song) I wonder if you guys noticed it)


End file.
